"I LOVE THAT MORE MEN ARE SEEKING THERAPY TODAY"

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Hear from psychologist Mrs. Shrradha Sidhwani about the rise of men seeking therapy, digital addiction, and post-COVID mental health trends in India.

The times and trends are changing. Therapy is becoming a safe space for EVERYONE—men women, young, old, employed, or looking (for jobs, dates, or help). Living in a traditionally patriarchal society, men were always made to bottle up their feelings and resist opening up (because that was seen as a weak thing to do). Today, Mrs. Shrradha Sidhwani , a clinical psychologist based in Mumbai, tells us that cultural codes and norms are changing and she now sees more and more men seeking therapy and a space to talk.

Continue reading this interview for her insights on the pervasiveness of the digital addiction that hopelessly ails us, and the difference COVID-19 has made in our approach to wellness.

Mrs. Sidhwani, how has mental health changed in India recently?

Mental health awareness has grown significantly since COVID-19. My work has always been about helping people understand their thoughts, emotions and behavioural patterns. Recently, however, I’ve noticed a shift towards general wellness concerns. Many people have started coming to my practice for day-to-day wellness issues and I’ve observed an increase in cases of anxiety and depression across genders, educational levels and employment degrees. Especially at retirement, people lose their sense of purpose and involvement in work that gives them meaning. So now my practice also guides people to find a sense of balance in their lives, regardless of their life stage or circumstances.

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What are some of the major stressors you see affecting the balance in our lives?

We’re all in a rat race to make it fast in life. There’s a huge pressure on the youth to perform and define their identity from early on. At such an age, they seek validation and want to fit in. The second you’re out of college, you have to make it big with a startup, start dating, form relationships, and sometimes even get married. This constant pressure to achieve leads to so much stress and anxiety these days. In school, we aren’t even taught the coping mechanisms for such pressure and stress, which is why therapy and talking to someone about your problems is especially important.

What is it about therapy that brands it as a “women” thing and have you seen—

Sorry, I’m gonna cut you off right there because I don’t think that holds true anymore. I’m so proud to say that the trend is changing. We are seeing a lot more men come up and seek help for their mental health, relationship or work issues. There might have been misconceptions about therapy being primarily for women. Since we’ve lived in a traditionally patriarchal culture, norms and expectations have defined acceptable behaviour for men and women. Fortunately, the stereotypes are breaking. Now, both men and women have started seeing therapy as a safe space and we are coming across a lot more men who are open to sharing and thinking out loud.

What are some issues these days that people are bringing to therapy?

In our culture, it’s quite hard to open up to family about personal issues so the first step is to be willing to start talking about such things. People come to therapy to talk about various things like addiction, sleep problems, emotions, and sexual health disorders that they might not be comfortable discussing elsewhere. As workplace dynamics also evolve, people who find it difficult to adjust to the changing social norms, leadership structures and new environments, find their safe space in therapy and work through their concerns.

What do you think about digital usage? Are we all hopelessly addicted?

Fun fact: We are digitally addicted.

In the last 6 months, many policies have been put in place in the US and UK to curb this behaviour. For example, the UK Government is proposing to ban social media usage for anyone under 16 years. We need stricter policies in India too but I believe we’re just 5 years away from such a change. Social media is not something we have been historically exposed to, its effects are still unclear and heavy usage, especially among the younger generation, is concerning. With the rise of Instagram and Netflix, we need to be more careful about what children and teenagers are being exposed to. I think it would help to try and take a break from digital media once in a while.

"As a therapist, a small difference I get to make in someone’s life helps me get a good night’s sleep. For me, it’s not about doing something massive, it’s about the little things I can do for someone else. "

How do you catch a break yourself…given your work involves other people’s feelings?

I like to compartmentalise my day and separate work from everything else. I take time off for myself and switch off by listening to inspiring music from films like Lakshya or ZNMD or engaging in an exercise routine. It’s also important to eat on time and catch up with friends and family. I always get at least 6 hours of sleep and really like waking up early and reading a book or listening to a podcast with a cup of coffee. Some of my favourite podcasts are The Tim Ferriss Show , The ⁠Happiness Lab and ⁠WorkLife with Adam Grant . I like reading research papers and actively follow Dr Kristin Neff for self-compassion practices. It’s good to maintain social connections but to also have your own space and establish boundaries where needed. Realise what you need so you can heal. Tell yourself: this is me, this is who I want to be and there’s no shame in that.

Finally, what do you find most rewarding about being a therapist?

Meeting different people, hearing their narratives, and helping them through it is the most exciting thing about being a therapist. It’s super satisfying for me when I see others reflect on their lives and start to feel better. The stigma surrounding mental health is vanishing and we’re going through a beautiful transition—women are being empowered, men are coming out about their issues, parents and even children as young as 5 are seeking help; we are all trying to understand our identity. Ever since the pandemic, I’ve also seen the Eastern and Western philosophies merge. We get a lot of research from them, they learn yoga, ayurveda, mindfulness, breathing, and other behavioural techniques from us. In India, with the increase in acceptance and awareness, many people are reaching out for mental health services. I’m constantly inspired by the work done by child psychologist Shelja Sen , The Bombay Psychiatric Society , and Dr Kersi Chavda in the LGBTQ+ space.